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January 2008 
New Calendars
Posted on Jan 2nd, 2008
by 
Lucente
Lucente
Something I always enjoy is bringing out the new calendars for a new year. It is a simple pleasure that last only a few moments but one I enjoy, nonetheless.
It is not about goals or resolutions for me. It is merely the opportunity to see a literal clean slate.
January was purely an arbitrary choice for the first month of the year. Said month was named by the Romans, after the god of beginnings and the guardian of doors and entrances — Janus. This Roman god was considered to have two faces: One on the front of his head and one on the back, with the ability to see backward and forward at the same time.
It has been my personal and professional experience that people claim they want to change more than they actually want to change. And, honestly, I realize that may sound harsh to some (probably the same folks who "claim" they want to change). But it is true; and it is neither a "good" or "bad" reality — it simply is a fact.
Before we can truly be ready for change (thus moving beyond "wanting" it), we must commit to “see backward and forward at the same time” … Personal assessment, forgiveness (toward self and others) and repentance (to change course) toward the direction of one’s dreams!
Change is an inside job. It doesn’t actually depend as much on the external realities as it does upon what is going on between a person ears. Thoughts become actions, actions become habits … And habits are challenging to overcome!
I must admit that I have expressed my share of blame (and splashed around in the Sea of Loathing) as I have participated in (what I thought to be) change-motivation behavior for myself and for the people in my life: prodding, cajoling and speaking at high verbal octaves (read: nagging and yelling!) to attain and/or sustain change.
But through time (and repeatedly participating in what I thought to be change-motivation behavior) I have learned how to move from claiming I want to change, to being ready and wanting to change.
The big secret to this feat? Admitting that I am not, do not have to be, nor expect others to be: Perfect. Short answer. Extremely l-o-n-g journey (from the land of Claim to the destination of Want).
Consider a new calendar as a mere step in the journey ...
And let yourself off the proverbial hook. Allow yourself to simply enjoy a new digit at the end of the calendar year, the freedom of a clean slate and the possibility of making notes on a new calendar. (And let go of long lists of things to change about yourself.)
Because at "... the end of all our exploring / Will be to arrive where we started / And know the place for the first time” (T.S. Eliot).
It is not about goals or resolutions for me. It is merely the opportunity to see a literal clean slate.
January was purely an arbitrary choice for the first month of the year. Said month was named by the Romans, after the god of beginnings and the guardian of doors and entrances — Janus. This Roman god was considered to have two faces: One on the front of his head and one on the back, with the ability to see backward and forward at the same time.
It has been my personal and professional experience that people claim they want to change more than they actually want to change. And, honestly, I realize that may sound harsh to some (probably the same folks who "claim" they want to change). But it is true; and it is neither a "good" or "bad" reality — it simply is a fact.
Before we can truly be ready for change (thus moving beyond "wanting" it), we must commit to “see backward and forward at the same time” … Personal assessment, forgiveness (toward self and others) and repentance (to change course) toward the direction of one’s dreams!
Change is an inside job. It doesn’t actually depend as much on the external realities as it does upon what is going on between a person ears. Thoughts become actions, actions become habits … And habits are challenging to overcome!
I must admit that I have expressed my share of blame (and splashed around in the Sea of Loathing) as I have participated in (what I thought to be) change-motivation behavior for myself and for the people in my life: prodding, cajoling and speaking at high verbal octaves (read: nagging and yelling!) to attain and/or sustain change.
But through time (and repeatedly participating in what I thought to be change-motivation behavior) I have learned how to move from claiming I want to change, to being ready and wanting to change.
The big secret to this feat? Admitting that I am not, do not have to be, nor expect others to be: Perfect. Short answer. Extremely l-o-n-g journey (from the land of Claim to the destination of Want).
Consider a new calendar as a mere step in the journey ...
And let yourself off the proverbial hook. Allow yourself to simply enjoy a new digit at the end of the calendar year, the freedom of a clean slate and the possibility of making notes on a new calendar. (And let go of long lists of things to change about yourself.)
Because at "... the end of all our exploring / Will be to arrive where we started / And know the place for the first time” (T.S. Eliot).
Access: Public
I, too, have splashed around in “the Sea of Self-Loathing.” If there was something I resolved to do during the past year it was to drop that tactic as a motivational tool. It wasn't that I made it a specific resolution (I'm getting long enough in the tooth to realize resolutions are to actual change what smoke rings are to donuts). I just started asking myself the question, “Why do you want this or that to be different?” Lots of times, I think we engage in a sort of transference. We aren't content within ourselves so we project that discontentment onto our body, our relationships, our job, etc. I haven't completely let myself “off the proverbial hook.” I am quite practiced at this “transference” game, but I certainly getting gentler with myself and others. Like you, I do enjoy starting a new calender. This year it's a calendar of Emily Carr's work. She's one of my favorite painters. Happy New Year, Lucente!
I very much enjoyed this piece – a nice complement to another I read earlier today on a blog I am subscribed to: Get Rich Slowly. The piece is titled, “My Three Goals for 2008 (and How I'll Tackle Them)”.
As for calendars, I too get a lot of pleasure from bringing out the brand new ones. Found a lovely Claude Monet calendar at good old B&N the other day, red dot discounted at 50 per cent . It looks wonderful on the wall, and all those empty date boxes are oh-so-pregnant with possibility. Someone here at work also left a nice monthly planner on my desk, which I plan to put to good use.
Otter … “realize resolutions are to actual change what smoke rings are to donuts” … This is deep, girlie! And as much as said statement made me think – it also sparked a craving for donuts. ;-) It is true that resolutions are more like “hopin' and wishin'” than actually setting specific goals and making progress toward one's point of destination. (Nice article, K-Eyes.)
However, I also find that the “hopin' and wishin'” part reveal clues to guide me once I do determine I am ready to saddle-up and answer the question, “Where do I want to go from here?” Sort of my way of avoiding (or at least steering away from) the transference you refer to, wise Otter.
Being long in the tooth does allow for softer edges and gentler ways …