Counting down and reflecting upon the gifts and opportunities of this past year as I celebrate the promise of a new year's arrival ...

Best and sincere wishes to all! May the year of 2008 prove to be your best year ever! May you discover the gifts — even when hidden by harsh realities; and the opportunities — even when "brilliantly disguised as impossible situations" (Charles R. Swindoll).

Right this moment, your thoughts are setting the direction for your future. Choose the thoughts that will lead you to the life you most desire. —Ralph Marston

Something I always enjoy is bringing out the new calendars for a new year. It is a simple pleasure that last only a few moments but one I enjoy, nonetheless.

It is not about goals or resolutions for me. It is merely the opportunity to see a literal clean slate.

January was purely an arbitrary choice for the first month of the year. Said month was named by the Romans, after the god of beginnings and the guardian of doors and entrances — Janus. This Roman god was considered to have two faces: One on the front of his head and one on the back, with the ability to see backward and forward at the same time.

It has been my personal and professional experience that people claim they want to change more than they actually want to change. And, honestly, I realize that may sound harsh to some (probably the same folks who "claim" they want to change). But it is true; and it is neither a "good" or "bad" reality — it simply is a fact.

Before we can truly be ready for change (thus moving beyond "wanting" it), we must commit to “see backward and forward at the same time” … Personal assessment, forgiveness (toward self and others) and repentance (to change course) toward the direction of one’s dreams!

Change is an inside job. It doesn’t actually depend as much on the external realities as it does upon what is going on between a person ears. Thoughts become actions, actions become habits … And habits are challenging to overcome!

I must admit that I have expressed my share of blame (and splashed around in the Sea of Loathing) as I have participated in (what I thought to be) change-motivation behavior for myself and for the people in my life: prodding, cajoling and speaking at high verbal octaves (read: nagging and yelling!) to attain and/or sustain change.

But through time (and repeatedly participating in what I thought to be change-motivation behavior) I have learned how to move from claiming I want to change, to being ready and wanting to change.

The big secret to this feat? Admitting that I am not, do not have to be, nor expect others to be: Perfect. Short answer. Extremely l-o-n-g journey (from the land of Claim to the destination of Want).

Consider a new calendar as a mere step in the journey ...

And let yourself off the proverbial hook. Allow yourself to simply enjoy a new digit at the end of the calendar year, the freedom of a clean slate and the possibility of making notes on a new calendar. (And let go of long lists of things to change about yourself.)

Because at "... the end of all our exploring / Will be to arrive where we started / And know the place for the first time”  (T.S. Eliot).

Oddly enough my first blog post here at zaadz was written on April 1st. It was about change being a process ...

"Change is inevitable. What you do with the opportunity of change is up to you. So my challenge for you — amid your ever-changing life and the changes in the world around you — is to consider your answers to these questions: Who will you be today? Tomorrow? Next week? Next year? And — are you willing to take ACTions which will pave the road, which will take you to who you will be?"

I had written it for myself but also for a journaling group I was leading at that time. The inquiries regarding ACTions and "who you will be" continue to be applicable for me and I would add what I, coincidently, wrote about today regarding Change.

"Little Things" (A field of cotton awaiting harvest ...)

Celebrating the "little things" in life creates gratitude and facilitates perspective and fuels the fires of inspiration! I decided to compile a list of things, my "proverbial spoons full of sugar to help the medicine go down ..." during the Autumn months. Here is it:

1. Blow bubbles 2. Enjoy a walk outside 3. Make a collage 4. Draw or list things you delighted in this week 5. Make a promise to yourself, write it down in a letter and mail it to yourself 6. Go rock hunting 7. Google 'writing prompts,' close your eyes, click on one and write! 8. Cut words from a magazine or junk mail, put 'em in an envelope or make a collage of words 9. Find your favorite cartoon in the newspaper and attached it to today's journal page 10. Use a road map for a collage 11. Read an entire book without stopping 12. Set the timer for 15-minutes and dance or sing at the top of your lungs! 13. Make watercolor paints with "dyes" from the garden 14. Allow a small piece of dark chocolate to melt in your mouth 15. Capture funny faces you make with a digital camera 16. Take photographs of clouds 17. Dig in the dirt 18. Plant seeds 19. Bake some chocolate chip cookies 20. Take photos of wildflowers 21. Practice "safe-falling" when you visit your son's Judo class 22. Savor a dip of ice cream on a cone 23. Attend an art class 24. Embroider designs on a denim shirt 25. Read a book about a topic of interest 26. Meet a friend for a walk at a local park 27. Plant pansies 28. Eat some Brach's candy corn 29. Savor a homemade cappuccino 30. Order pizza to go and watch Dancing with the Stars 31. Go for an early morning hike on a crisp, Autumn morn 32. Step outside or take a country drive just before the sun rises and inhale the beauty and light of that moment it first comes up over the horizon line 33. Watch your dogs play chase 34. Have lunch on the patio so you can enjoy the warm Autumn weather 35. Uproot the ever-so invasive Bermuda grass from your focal point garden 36. Savor your favorite flavor of a Starburst® fruit chews 37. Share the sunshine with a paint horse named, Renner 38. Sip cappuccino with your teenage son (on the first actual cold and delightfully cloudy day of Autumn) 39. Cuddle your cold and wet Golden puppy with a towel (warm from the dryer) 40. Taking small and savored bites, enjoy some lemon shortbread cookies 41. Enjoy a nature walk on a cool Autumn morn 42. Prepare your garage for incoming potted perennials 43. Get an interesting view of life: chat with your teenage son and his friends 44. Capture the color and beauty of Autumn via sketches or photographs 45. Walk 3 miles, earbuds placed firmly in your ears — blasting your favorite tunes and let your brain take a nap 46. Sip a mocha latte (with extra whipped cream!), wrapped in a quilt while seated on your patio, just before the sun illuminates the morning sky 47. Tell the world to take a number and do what you have to do 48. Savor dark chocolate covered cherries while savoring e-mails from beloved friends 49. Bake a pumpkin pie from scratch 50. Turn off the phones and laugh out loud as you watch a comedy 51. Peruse family photos with your teenage son ...

(Only a mother could appreciate the last time I surprised myself.) It was two days ago after I prepared my eldest son's favorite made-from-scratch supper, enjoyed his laughter and his animated story-telling, washed the dishes (automatic dishwasher awaits repair) and savored the last spoonfuls of a homemade strawberry shake; it was after he collected his laptop (his Dad had debugged) and hugged me good-bye (complete with a "love you") and told me thanks for such a "great dinner" (did those words really come from his lips??) and left "Home" to go back to his house.

I surprised myself when I realized I had said, "Good-bye." and "I love you." ... And did not ask (or wonder), "When will I see you again?" Nor did I say, "Call me."

Wow. That was truly a surprise. More than that, it was a gift I have longed for ... Oh, for years. Just to be with my grown children without baggage or expectations — or gripping their heels for dear life and begging them to stay!! ;-).

Photo Credit

I got out of bed this morning so as to do my physical therapy exercises, so as to alleviate the pain within my body. As difficult as it is to be grateful (and not discouraged) I am standing in the light of thankfulness. A year ago, a pain flare-up required total bed rest and resuming physical therapy. This week, it has merely meant I had to slow down and allow for extra rest and strengthening and exercise.

Getting out of bed this week has been more challenging than it has been is very long time. I know why ... Just don't like the reasons. :-(

However, reading Otter's post inspired something within me. (As usual, as she is gifted in the art of inspiration!) The reasons I "don't like" are my internal jellyfish — beautiful and even delicate but fully capable of a deadly sting! I do find healing in the knowledge I am not alone with my jellyfish ... But this week has sure been icky. High highs, and low lows.

Something else that gets me out of bed is the view I have regarding what is next. However, ironically, it (what is next) is also the reason I have to search out and identify a reason to get out of bed — to enlarge the boundaries around my days to include other people and experiences and all the ... Ick, ick! ... Unfamiliarity of what is coming.

Oh, well, I will just stock up on jellyfish repellent! ::grin::

Oh, how about another cup or two of natural order? Served steaming with a dollop of whipped cream (chocolate sprinkles on top!).

Natural order? You know ... not too sculpted or formed. Just enough substance to sustain (and inspire!) a mind-in-motion toward finding the oh-so comfortable nitch within a new routine. It is available in various forms ...

Natural order such as the sequencing of these tall stalks I photographed recently. I spotted them during a brisk winter’s day walk around a country cemetery. These golden rods are a visual of nature's artistic order. Each stalk and grouping, organically grown over the years, standing tall and in an informal sequence, each uniquely shaped, varied in height and quietly beautiful … gently swaying in the winds (of change).

... I am there.
... I feel better right now.

Listening to Joni Mitchell ...

Many years ago, my uncle gave me a movie entitled, Le Ballon Rouge (The Red Balloon) in which "A boy makes friends with a balloon, tames it, and the balloon begins to live a life of its own." (Source)

There are numerous interpretations of this award-winning movie ... However, for me, it is about hope and being different. It is about following a dream; weaving within the aspects of one's life that must remain and then weaving on over into what is next.

And doing so even "in the midst" of change ... And trusting that even as one dream "pops" ... Countless others will "lift" you up ... and over ...